The Wedding Crashers

This post has nothing to do with the movie The Wedding Crashers, rather it is a real-life story. Generally, real life is better than the movies, unless we're talking Kindergarten Cop. There's no topping Kindergarten Cop.

Last night, Preston sent out the bat signal. He was working at a wedding and the bride's sister was looking for outside help to finish the keg. I used to be a cub scout, so I know the importance of being helpful. If this were an old person needing assistance crossing the street, I would have rushed over just as quickly as I did to the keg, I swear.

I went about aiding in the wedding party's minor dilemma, and soon found myself very friendly. Friendly to the point that I invited a wedding full of drunk strangers to bring the keg back to my house and keep the party going after the reception got shut down. I realized that wasn't a good idea almost immediately, but I figured that when things eventually went horribly wrong, as it certainly would, at least it'd be a night to remember.

Fortunately, we solved the problem of the keg coming back to my house by helping to finish it as quickly as possible, which, unsurprisingly, kept the party fun. Often, my friends and I were the only ones holding up the dance floor, a generous move by us considering most of the music wasn't in English (I hope that Hispanic family asks for a refund!) and consequently are featured in a lot of the wedding's video footage. I don't know who the bride and groom were, but they'll surely love seeing me, donning my not-too-formal Women of Virtue Conference 2001 t-shirt, as a prominent part of their special day.

I don't know what I liked best about the night: listening to some guest ramble about her irregular period then saying she wished I hadn't told her my name so that she could make out with me, hearing the Ying Yang Twins's "Wait (The Whisper Song)" (which if you ask me, has become a cliche at weddings), seeing Andrew drink beer out of a coffee pot after the cups were gone, having RJ get me to dance with a bridesmaid only to have her point out her wife standing on the side, or the keg. Who am I kidding? It was the keg. And being the helpful person that I am, if you know of any other weddings with a similar problem, particularly those with an open bar, give me a call. I'm always willing to lend a hand -- or a mouth, as the case may be.

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