Trashy Behavior

While signing the lease agreement for my new apartment, the management pointed out my apartment’s recycling bin, not-so-conveniently-located recycling across the complex, adding, “If you’re into that kind of thing.”

Since when did recycling become a deviant activity? They might as well have said, “We screen foot fetish pornography by the pool Wednesday nights… if you’re into that kind of thing.” Oh, you like to conserve natural resources? Bet you like bestiality, too, eh? “In my day, we threw paper out with everything else and we liked it! None of this newfangled recycling and MTV.”

So it looks like I’ll be taking quite a trek with my recyclables. I’ll do my best not to be deterred by the neighbors peeking from behind their curtains and whispering, “You’ll never guess what he’s doing with those aluminum cans!”