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20. The time I struggled to learn how to do laundry.
19. The time I watched a young girl attempt to kill herself in the grocery store.
18. The time I saw a TV show where a character killed her father by having premarital sex.
17. The time I committed identity theft against myself.
16. The time I fathered siamese septuplets.
15. The time a strange married Indonesian man might have propositioned me for sex over the internet.
14. The time I ranted about people who breed like it's a hobby.
13. The time a sign persuaded me not to attend a blood drive.
12. The time my student wrote an unintentionally hilarious essay about abortion.
11. The time I was sexually harassed by a crazy, toothless dyke.
10. The time I argued with Mormons about gay marriage for days.
9. The time I read a liberry book that taught me to avoid "retarded" children.
8. The time I listed my favorite infomercials.
7. The time I took advantage of a passed out stranger in Las Vegas.
6. The time I dressed up like a monkey and ran around Los Angeles drunk while pushing a shopping cart.
5. The time I was locked out of the Museum of Tolerance, then joined the protest efforts against the institution.
4. The time I explored my blond identity.
3. The time I uncovered a vast left-wing conspiracy.
2. The time I honestly thought I was possessed by a ghost.
1. The time a recalled doll ate Meggie's hair.
Thanks for coming to Kevin Babbles' party. Don't forget to take a slice of cake on your way out!
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