Happy Belated Anniversary

Somewhere in this busy life of mine, I have forgotten that as of August 1, I celebrated my first anniversary of blogging. A whole year! W00t! W00t!

Like any esteemed publication, I prefer to celebrate my readers not with new material, but recycling old crap that I will call the "best of." So check out some old favorites, including:

There was the time I crashed a wedding.
The time I discussed homosexual animals with an old person.
The time I obtained a "new" couch.
The time I ate a staple.
The "creepy in the butthole" incident.
The time I learned slang.
The time I explained my middle name.
The time I pretended I was a locksmith.
The time I was no better than Paris Hilton's significant other.
And the time I found my first experience in journalism.
The time I was Semicolon Powell in the local parade.
The time I embarrassed myself in front of a 70's glam rock band.
The time I was completely naked in the cafeteria.
The time Alice and I appeared on a 90's trivia game show.
The time I accidentally followed a guy home.
The time Ted broke a calculator.
The time I coerced Ted into being a child molester.
The time I ran into a screen door.
The time I had a tiff with the priest at my grandparent's funeral.
And the time I started a fashion trend.