2005-08-12

Gay Birds

In Boston, the latest controversy involves the famous pair of swans named Romeo and Juliet. Well, turns out they're both female, and now that it's known they're lesbians, some people are upset that the great romantic symbol for the city is tainted. Anti-gay groups are already in full force, blaming this coupling on Massachusetts's decision to allow same-sex marriage. Who would have guessed that legislation passed for humans would have such a drastic effect on animals' sexual orientations? Nevermind that the swans have been a pair long before those laws were passed. Everyone thought they were cute until their genders, which are only discernible through thorough scientific testing, showed them to be an abomination.

In the past couple of years, penguins have also been gaying it up. Zoos across the world have found that countless couples once thought to be infertile are actually homosexual. When a German aquarium attempted to bring in opposite-sexed birds to get some breeding going, gay activists protested. Seems that humans on all sides of the issue enjoy meddling in birds' sex lives.

I also once read a scholarly article about an incident of homosexual necrophilia between mallards.
http://www.nmr.nl/deins815.htm
It's actually an interesting read, as is every article that comes up when you search for "homosexual necrophilia."

Considering our winged friends are all about it, homosexuality must be natural. What's not natural, however, is my newfound obsession with gay birds. After reading about Romeo & Juliet, Cass & Wendall (penguins in NYC), and the mallards, I can't resist finding these couples to be cute. All right, so maybe that one case of the duck fucking the dead duck is hardly romantic, but the other ones seem nice. I'm thinking about setting up Daffy and Tucan Sam on a blind date.