You Could Be Born Again

A week ago (news travels slowly), Chris Dedrick, leader of Free Design, my all-time favorite family band (take THAT Jackson 5, The Carpenters, and Bee Gees), died of cancer at the age of 62.

Longtime blog readers will know that I used to have a segment called Free Design Fridays, wherein I introduced a song by the band and gently poked fun at it, but in a loving way. No one does saccharine pop better than Free Design, and no song of theirs tops Kites Are Fun. (It's dorky, but download it and you'll never make a summer mix without it again.)

But in this special Free Design Friday: In Memorial, I'm choosing a song that has to do with reincarnation, "You Could Be Born Again." Actually, I'm pretty sure that the song is about born-again Christianity as the band was want to do, but I'm going to pretend it's about reincarnation, since if anyone deserves a second chance at life and songwriting, it is Dedrick.

May the angels sing Free Design songs in heaven, Dedrick.

2002 - A Hit Song

Everyone's least favorite reappearing feature is back after a four month absence: Free Design Friday!

Though Free Design, a late 60s family band, produced a lot of songs that are popular with me, they never achieved much mainstream success. Consequently, the band received a lot of pressure to write a song that could be turned into a hit single, so the members, whose creativity is clearly lacking, wrote "2002 - A Hit Song."

2002 - A Hit Song
The Free Design

Hello, teenie bopper,
Hello, deejay.
We’re goin’ to sing a whopper
and you’re goin to make it pay for us.
Hello! Hit, hit, hit.
Sure to be a hit, hit, hit.
Gonna make a hit.

Uniqueness is rule number one,
No weakness to hinder the fun.
Now sing it with reckless abandon
and go to the bank with your mon, mon, money
It’s a hit, hit, hit.
Sure to be a hit, hit, hit.
Gonna make a hit.

You take a little drums
Add a little bass
And let the guitar play
at a teenie bopper’s pace
It’s gotta be a hit.

Hello, teenie bopper,
Hello, deejay.
We’re goin’ to sing a whopper
and you’re goin to make it pay for us.
Hello! Hit, hit, hit.
Sure to be a hit, hit, hit.
Gonna make a hit.

Promotion will cause a big commotion
So, deejay, teenie bopper answer me this:
How can this hit miss?
We’ve done it all right and sealed it with a kiss.
There’s just one fact that we can’t quite shirk:
We did all this last time, and it did not work!

But! This time we’re sure to have a hit, hit, hit.
Sure to be a hit.

I must admit that this tune is one of the catchiest in Free Design's oeuvre, so it was, in fact, sure to be a hit, right? Alas, no dice. Would you believe that this song was also not a commercial flop like every other Free Design ditty? Even after the lyrics indicate that they know all the tricks to the trade! I'm not sure why they include "2002" in the title. Perhaps because it's a palindrome, or perhaps because they knew people would appreciate this song much more decades in the future. Either way, this song sure should have been a hit. Hmm, maybe better late than never? I'm going to call some local radio stations to demand that they play it. You should do the same, teenie boppers.

Children's Waltz

It’s been quite some time since we’ve celebrated a Free Design Friday. That’s a mistake I’d like rectify with the family band’s song “Children’s Waltz.”



Don’t worry, the song’s title isn’t literal, though it does manage to hit upon the only thing more annoying than children dancing: childish questions. Contrary to popular opinion, The lyrics stop just short of asking, “Are we there yet?”

Children’s Waltz
The Free Design

What makes a tree grow tall?
Why does a leaf turn to gold?
What makes the morning dew?
I wish I knew. I wish I knew.

What makes a raindrop fall?
Why does the nighttime grow cold?
What makes the sky so blue?
I wish I knew. I wish I knew.

Why are the stars so tiny?
Why is the sun so bright?
Why is the moon so shiny,
when it only comes out at night?

What makes a robin call?
Why is a grandmother old?
What makes a kitten mew?
I wish I knew. I wish I knew.

First of all, you couldn’t waltz to this song if you tried. Second of all, most of the answers to these questions could be found in an elementary science textbook. This does not speak well for home schooling, Free Design.

For your reference, as well as Free Design’s, I’ve gone through and typed each of their queries into http://www.Ask.com (RIP Jeeves!) and linked to the first relevant website with an answer. Well, all of them except for “Why is a grandmother old?” – that shit’s just dumb.

Seacrest out.

Kije's Ouija

After hearing many creepy Ouija board stories during my youth, I tried on several occasions to receive a message from a spirit. Unlike most kids, however, my partners and I were never freaked out by our experiences. Since our curiosity prompted honesty, no one ever moved the piece to force a message. Instead, we had a string of non-corresponding consonants with far too few vowels. In retrospect, maybe the resulting message was a cryptogram that required further deciphering.

Given the band's previously discussed strong, strange breed of Christianity, I was surprised to discover that Free Design had its own song about the occult game.

Enjoy the tune here: The Free Design - Kije's Ouija

"Is it bad, Kevin?"
Did you have to ask? Granted, it's catchy, but these lyrics...

There was a gentleman from way up north and Kije was his name.

And he got strange answers from a magic board ‘cause Ouija was his game.

Kije’s Ouija, Kije’s Ouija Board

Kije’s Ouija, gee, we should’ve believed, believed before



I took my favorite lover way up north,
we packed our boots and skis

And we found as a lodging Kije’s magic house-
there he sat with a board upon his knees.

Kije’s Ouija, Kije’s Ouija Board

Kije’s Ouija, gee, we should’ve believed, believed before


Then he asked us would we like to sit and learn about magic,

My Ouija board will set you straight on all that’s happy or tragic.

We sat right down to scrutinize the weird old indicator

Neither did we understand or believe it.. till later

Kije’s Ouija, Kije’s Ouija Board
Kije’s Ouija, gee, we should’ve believed, believed before



It told us that some wise old angel had prepared for us a special treat
that everyone who kicked a little dog would surely lose his feet.

And everyone who shook his fist in anger soon would be shaking in bed,

And every single time a curse was said
someone’s tongue would surely drop from his head.


Now many more like this the angel will send, but you could do yourself much worse.

Just push a couple buttons, let your favorite bombs completely cover over the earth.

Now the angel’s curse has come and gone, but everyone knew that.



We didn’t need a Ouija board to give us any clue

that the way we lived was far from right,
the first curse came to reckon.

No one dares to ask old Kije ‘bout the second.

Kije’s Ouija, Kije’s Ouija Board
Kije’s Ouija, gee, we should’ve believed, believed before.

Things that are awesome:
* The implied promiscuity in the fifth line: "I took my favorite lover"
* The morality lesson in puppy-kickers losing their feet
* Evidently, angels communicate via ouija boards
* The sarcasm about the apocalyptic bombs is nearly lost in awkward syntax

Do-Re-Me-Me-Me-Me-Me

Since my life is up in the air, I've had some friends contact me concerned that I've moved to Vermont. On the contrary, I'm vacationing at the Trapp Family Lodge, a resort built on the land that the Von Trapps, the family from The Sound of Music, relocated to after emigrating from Austria, and a destination I wrote a ridiculous paper on. I'll figure out my life when I get home. Or, you know, whenever. I know I don't want to live in Vermont, so that's a start, no?

I also know that it's Free Design Friday. Between the Von Trapps and Free Design, that's a lot of family band to handle, as if there could ever be an overload of that variety. At some point, Free Design decided to record its own version of "Do-Re-Me," only to find they couldn't obtain the rights, so they switched up the order in which they sang the notes to make it a different song entirely. Sort of. At any rate, it's soothing, stupid, and short, so you might as well check it out.

Download/listen: The Free Design - Chorale

While we're on the subject, why not go back to one of my first blog posts ever, and attempt to play the "Do-Re-Me" game. It's still a challenge that fouls me up!

Daniel Dolphin

During the last Free Design Friday, I alluded to a song called "Daniel Dolphin," suggesting bestiality undertones. Truthfully, I was sensationalizing the scenario for effect, but it's no worse than the lies dolphins spread against tuna fishers. No, in fact "Daniel Dolphin" is about... well.. it's about rebirth? The life cycle? Jesus? I must admit, this tune boggles me. Help me make sense of it.

Download/play: The Free Design - Daniel Dolphin

Daniel Dolphin - The Free Design

Daniel was a dolphin with wide innocent eyes
We met him seven years ago in an island paradise
He used to meet us at the shore, and swim with us and laugh
And show us games and coral reefs and carry us like a raft

Daniel Dolphin was a real friend,
he knew more than he said
Smart as Daniel was
he used his heart before his head
No one would believe he was
as bright as what we said

One day our grampapa was watching us play
It hurt him that we ran along and with him did not stay
and so he followed us along the sunny, sandy shore
He got so far behind us that he couldn’t walk anymore

Daniel Dolphin was a real friend,
he knew more than he said
Smart as Daniel was
he used his heart before his head
No one would believe he was
as bright as what we said
No one knew he loved us.

There were the young ones playing, there was the old one praying

Daniel took our grandpapa away through the waves
they couldn’t find him anywhere in the coral reefs or caves
But three days later Daniel came, but they killed him angrily
But not before he brought to shore a tiny old brand new baby

Daniel Dolphin was a real friend,
he knew more than he said
Smart as Daniel was
he used his heart before his head
No one would believe he was
as bright as what we said
No one knew he loved us.
No one knew he loved us.

So I'm thinking there's some sort of religious allegory at play. Daniel, a dolphin, is a genuine friend who assists the elderly to their deaths and brings newborns in their place. Or, in the oxymoronical words of Free Design, a "tiny old brand new baby." Maybe it's ageist, but maybe it's noble; the context isn't overly clear as to whether Daniel is praised or admonished for "us[ing] his heart before his head." It's also unclear who the "they" are that kill Daniel, as well as why Free Design sides with the marine life over their grandpapa. There are a lot of [blow]holes in this story, but I suppose if it were transparent, what would be the point? You don't listen to Free Design because it's simple.

Your theories are appreciated. Interactive Free Design Friday!

Never Tell the World

Contrary to popular opinion, Free Design is not all fun and games: It's not just kite flying and bubble blowing. Free Design is not afraid to tackle more serious social issues such as taboo relations. In fact, this subject matter is precisely the focus of the wonderfully harmonized tune "Never Tell the World."

Listen or download: The Free Design - Never Tell the World

Never Tell the World
The Free Design

Never tell the world, no, no, no.

Never tell the world, never give it reason
To mock a love like ours; never sing our song.
Keep it locked inside, keep it just between us.
Keep it secret, never confide until they all have seen us.

Never has the world complied with a love that seems to reproach it;
And every wrong-spoken word that we’ve ever heard....warns us:
We better keep our cool, our love’s too precious,
People hate a broken rule, people won’t accept us.

But someday the world might change and a love like ours might belong,
But until that day comes along...never tell.

Their love is pure, but the world is not. The first time I heard this song, I assumed it was about interracial dating. Over time, I recognized the ambiguity of the lyrics leave the circumstances of this relationship up in the air. It could be so much sexier than an interracial pairing. They could be homosexual in a time before gay marriage, or perhaps there could be a large age gap, the kind of adorable statutory rape scenario that similarly inspired Alanis Morissette to pen songs. And maybe, just maybe it's about an inter-species relationship. We'll have to look for clues of bestiality when we investigate the song "Daniel Dolphin" in the future.

Only today, however, while preparing this post did the most obvious answer strike me: incest! Duh, it's a family band. According to the band's website, sisters Sandy and Stephanie "urgently" cowrote the lyrics to this song before calling upon their brother to add some music. It is a collaboration out of inspiration and/or necessity.

With any luck, some day society will be accepting of their affection. In the meantime, love freely, Free Design.

My Brother Woody

Ohmguh, it's Free Design Friday. This week's song is "My Brother Woody," which has never been one of my favorites, but after reading the lyrics, its stock has certainly risen significantly.

Play or download: The Free Design - My Brother Woody

First, let's get some background on the song from Free Design's official website: "Chris' brother Woody is eight years old. His real name is Jason, but he and a second cousin who lives across the street have a group; and for "professional" purposes they call themselves Wo and Woody - The Woodpeckers ("We Live In The Sea"). Woody plays ukelele and, Chris says, plays all the right changes. In this song, Chris and Sandy and Bruce have caught the lively feeling of a little boy busy with his fun. Ralph Casale and Jay Berliner set the introduction on guitar, while Bill Lavorgna's drumming helps to build the piece as it becomes livelier and livelier."

Oh, it gets livelier all right. If it were any livelier, it'd be a living, breathing creature and not just the greatest song about a sibling ever. It's nice to see that even the younger siblings not a part of the family band have musical talent they are pursuing.

I'd contend, though, that the family is not really celebrating the "lively feeling of a little boy busy with his fun," but instead pointing out what a dumbass he is. Let's examine the lyrics:

My Brother Woody - Free Design

Hikin’ a football between his knees
runnin’ to catch a pass
Climbing up the friendly trees,
fallin’ in the grass
My brother Woody.

Singin’ a song and playin’ guitar
laughin’ at every goof
Tryin’ to touch the morning star
from the toolshed roof
My brother Woody

Don’t go away and leave the lights on
Curtain strings don’t get yanked
Gotta watch out for Mom "the Bomb"
Be good enough not to get spanked
My brother Woody

In the first verse, their brother Woody is a clumsy dumbass that falls out of the trees. In the second first, their brother Woody is a naive dumbass that attempts to touch something light years away. In the third verse, their brother Woody is an inconsiderate dumbass with no concern for the environment or the upkeep of the house.

Notably, this is Free Design's second reference to their mother, the previous one being when she ignorantly denied the appeal of flying kites, both of which add up to a portrayal of an uncaring, aggressive stage mom. Don't fool yourself, the phrase "the bomb" didn't mean "totally cool" until the 90s, so apparently the kids envision their parent as a brutal spanking machine. Sigh, when even family bands have problems, how can there be hope for the rest of us? I suspect alcoholism is at play, but we'll let future editions of Free Design Fridays more fully illuminate this issue.

Bubbles

This upcoming week of school is my favorite of the year: state standardized testing. Forget the politics of it all, I enjoy the shortened teaching periods and rare tranquility on campus. Nothing but the gentle sound of number two pencils filling bubbles. Ah, bubbles.

Bubbles are ubiquitous. Bubble tests, bubble gum, bubble baths, bubble butts, bubble wrap, bubble wands, bubble letters... the list bubbles on. Hence, it is only appropriate that Free Design commemorate bubbles on their many successes in a song called, you guessed it, "Bubbles."

"Bubbles" is a venture in funk. Indeed, this tune is grooving, all the way to its sassy conclusion featuring mastication, a pop, and a fit of laughter. Lauding bubbles in a sea of funky harmonies is nothing short of genius.



I began to bold my favorite lyrics only to realize I had bolded more than I had left alone.

Blowin’ bubbles outta the window

Chewin’ bubblegum and blowin’ big bubbles

Gettin’ gettin’ ridda ridda all my troubles,

Watchin’ the tadpoles glubba, glubba in the puddles

Soap bubbles carry my dreams up high

Bubble gum kinda keeps my heart from gettin’ heavy and cryin’



Ma ‘n’ Pa are arguin’ again,

today I lost my best friend

The kitty has a little cold,

‘n ‘ grammama is getting older

My tummy has a little pain,

‘n’ when does Jesus come again?

I'll admit, I'm a bit concerned for the tadpoles residing in puddles rather than ponds. Perhaps the glubba noise is a cry of impending death? I'd get sad, but I'm chewing gum, so my heart's obviously not about to get heavy or cry.

A kitten with a tiny cold is precious enough to erase my visions of an aging grandmother. It still doesn't distract from the most perplexing lyric of the song: "My tummy has a little pain/'n' when does Jesus come again?" What does one have to do with the other? JESUS SAVES... with Pepto Bismal. Is that bubbly? Does Jesus come to earth in a bubble?

In spite of the ridiculousness, you'll genuinely love this one.
Free Design - Bubbles

I Found Love

It’s Free Design Friday! Our second song in the ongoing series is “I Found Love.”

I invite you to read the lyrics as poetry.

I found love, didn’t even know I needed it
But I found love, never even crossed my mind
I found love, had a garden never weeded it
But I found love, took an apple just in time

I found love in the fall and it did not hurt at all
I found sunlight and flowers, soft summer showers
I can feel my heart touch my Adams apple
I can feel the feather in my head
There is a lightness, politeness, fingers tingle, tootsies tap
‘till dawn comes and finds me never in my bed

I found love, didn’t even know I needed it
But I found love, never even crossed my mind

I found love in the spring and I did not lose a thing
I found love in the fall and it did not hurt at all
I found sunlight and flowers, soft summer showers.
I can feel my heart touch my Adams apple
I can feel the feather in my head
There is a lightness, politeness, fingers tingle, tootsies tap
‘till dawn comes and finds me never in my bed

Had a garden never weeded it
But I found love
Took an apple just in time

I found love in this world and my heart strings just unfurled
I found love in the spring and I did not lose a thing
I found love in the fall and it did not hurt at all
I found love in this world and my heart strings just unfurled
I found love in the spring and I did not lose a thing.

1. My favorite lyric is “I can feel my heart touch my Adams apple,” followed closely by the rhythmic progression of the words “lightnes, politeness, fingers tingle, tootsies tap.”
2. Love can be measured in seasons.
3. The un-weeded garden totally represents pubic hair.
4. The word “unfurled” is only used in poetry/music to accomplish a rhyme. When is the last time you’ve heard the word in normal conversation?

I found a music video for the song created by a teenager. Yeah, it’s pretty bad, but endearingly so, hence it is worth a view. I’d like to think that if The Free Design were to have made a music video for this song, it would be exactly like this one.

Given the intro, it seems the star discovered Free Design via the Gilmore Girls soundtrack – who’d have guessed? I’m digging the drag costume and the lip-synching failing to match up to the song. The literal interpretation of the lyrics (embodied in this video by torn notebook paper) is charming: I’m particularly taken by the parts involving summer showers and having a feather in one’s head. Then the video gets all high-tech with the introduction of fake blood. And you assumed this video had no budget.

Tootsie tap to this song to your heart’s delight:
The Free Design - I Found Love

Introducing The Free Design: Kites Are Fun

I've decided to start a new regular feature at this blog: Free Design Fridays. For those people not in the loop, The Free Design is a family band that originated in the 1960s. The siblings' respective vocals combined to form magnificent harmonies that only blood relation could create, or as I like to call it, symphonic incest. The Free Design's songs are pure pop, both sugary and cheesy (my two favorite groups), complete with lyrics that will not soon be forgotten.

I was first introduced to The Free Design through Cecilia who came across the band's CD in a thrift store, initially attracted to the album's cover art. This event was nothing short of fate; when Cecilia shared the album with me, I was completely smitten and demanded a copy. In turn, each person I've shared the CD with has been similarly enamored. If you don't find Free Design's songs beautiful and ridiculous, then you probably don't like music or family or wholesome fun and you should probably get out of the United States

It wasn't hard to choose which song to first introduce to this blog. "Kites Are Fun" is not only the first song I heard by The Free Design, but also the first song that The Free Design's leader, Chris Dedrick, ever wrote, as well as the band's first single and hit. Though the title, "Kites Are Fun," is obvious and innocuous, it's also, for lack of a better word, swell. Check out the song in the video below, animated by a Free Design fan.



On The Free Design's website, Chris explains the inspiration for the song. "It's a song to cheer you up," says Chris. "I wrote it on a rainy day when I was feeling kind of lonely. I was thinking about a girl whose initials were K.A.F., and out of the initials popped Kites Are Fun. It says, 'Whatever it is you like, go ahead and do your thing.'"

I like flying, flying kites.
Flying kites, flying kites.
Kites are fun.

See my kite it’s fun,
See my kite, it’s green and white
Laughing in its distant flight
All that’s between us is a little yellow string,
But we like each other more than anything
And we run along together through the field behind my house
And the little drops of rain caress her face and wash my blouse
And we’d like to be a zillion miles away from everyone
‘Cause Mom and Dad and Uncle Bill don’t realize:
Kites are fun.

I like flying, flying kites.
Flying kites, flying kites.
Kites are fun.

There are several reasons that I enjoy this song. First, the origination -- oh, to be the young lass whose initials are immortalized by "Kites Are Fun." Second, the subject matter, although fairly trivial, is treated earnestly, particularly the intensity of the harmonization that goes into the sentence "I like flying kites." Third, the giddy sound of a flute. Fourth, the lyrics that specify that in spite of the distance the little yellow string puts between the kite and the flyer, they are still quite fond of each other; it's a necessary clarification. Fifth, the fact that Mom and Dad and Uncle Bill are tyrannical and not accepting of kite flying. They just don't seem to get what it's about, to the point where the kids are willing to run away. It's as if Uncle Bill thought kite flying were equivalent to drug abuse. Then again, maybe "flying kites" is a metaphor for some illegal substance; the song might actually make sense that way.

Stream and/or download "Kites Are Fun" by The Free Design