2005-08-05

Heyyyyyyyy Macarena!

A large part of my job involves programming music for stores; essentially, corporations hire us to manufacture their soundtrack. Recently, a Major Corporate Diner that I cannot name, solicited our services. This Major Corporate Diner, which I suppose we can call McD's for simplicity's sake, requested a change in the music in its crew room. Some high-ranking McD's stiffs asked that we play more "energized" tunes to keep the employees "pumped" while on their breaks. The songs they suggested in order to achieve this were "The Macarena," "YMCA," and "The Electric Slide."

Wow. McD's hamburgers must have some really funky meat to get these executives hallucinating to the point where they think employees would like that kind of music. Can you imagine a bunch of fast food workers, finally having a rest from asking "Would you like fries with that?" eagerly pushing aside the breakroom table and chairs in order to clear space for an "Electric Slide" boogie down session? How about someone exclaiming, "'YMCA' again! Yes! I hope 'In The Navy' is next!"?

Well, we aim to please - the higher-ups, anyway - so it's all going in, as well as such gems as Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch's "Good Vibrations," "The Grease Mega-Mix," and every volume of Jock Jams. If you should read in the news about an increase of fast food employees throwing themselves on the grill, you'll know why.

1 comment:

P jr said...

Is this major corporate diner Burger King? . . . Just a guess, I don't want you to jeopardize your job by telling us!

I would suggest Bob Carlisle's classic "Butterfly Kisses" as part of Burger King's--sorry, I mean Major Corporate Diner's!--soundtrack. That will keep workers pumped, although they might tire themselves out wiping the tears away!