Oh my heck, I've been blogging for half a decade now. How did this happen? Five flipping years of babbling to my own amusement, and hopefully to some of yours as well. As is tradition here, I'd like to count down some of my favorite posts of the past year so you can catch up in case you haven't been paying full attention.
20. The time I wrote letters to the celebrities at the Grammys
19. The time I accidentally possessed kiddy porn
18. The time I threw a party and spray painted everything gold
17. The time things turned sexual at the American Legion Hall
16. The time I proved myself to be a horrible wine connoisseur
15. The time I confused Lisa Frank with Anne Frank
14. The time I self-diagnosed my dyslexia
13. The time I exposed a kid's mom as an alcoholic
12. The time I graded a sociopath's violent essay
11. The time I accidentally crashed a Super Bowl party at the local Teen Center
10. The time my friend drove her neighbor to suicide
9. The time I received some hilariously apologetic fan mail.
8. The time I read a book about parenting that advocates pedophilia
7. The time a porn star grabbed my penis
6. The time I turned the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles gay
5. The time I met my African American counterpart
4. The time I celebrated Bryan Adams's 50th birthday by recounting his laughable repertoire
3. The time I explored a dead woman's haunted house
2. The time I reviewed the best/worst movie ever, Orphan
1. The time I made a comical error as a Little Leaguer
Since it's a 5 year milestone, I think it's also appropriate to link to previous years' awesomest posts, too.
There, that'll keep you busy FOR-DAYS. Expect a test on all of the contained information in a week. But in all sincerity, thanks to everyone for reading and don't hesitate to send feedback in the comments or by email.