Truck You, Kid!

Michael Michael's speech went well at the ground breaking ceremony yesterday. I stood in the back and watched proudly as he delivered a speech that sagely excluded all of my input. The whole event was lovely: Even the cranes and bulldozers were strategically positioned in the backdrop in an aesthetically-pleasing manner; I can only imagine whose job it was to make the construction site look prettier.

Because it's me, I still have a gripe: kids. Kids ruin everything: diapers, quiet movie theater experiences, and otherwise blissful marriages. Now I'm not saying that I blame two-year-olds for not caring that our new dorms will be more eco-friendly than on any other campus in the country, but I do blame their parents for thinking they'd be well-behaved enough to attend. If they can't afford a babysitter, that's why people own cages.

Okay, truthfully, none of the kids were that poorly behaved; my animosity stems from embittered jealousy. While we get emails reminding us we are not allowed in the construction area and will face certain death if we do, apparently it's just "cute" if a kid does the same. One kid kept fleeing from his parent and going through the gate to play. There's nothing I wanted more than to follow suit, but you know if I did, someone would yell and everyone would think I'm crazy. I just want to play in the dirt! And unlike a certain toddler, I'd be more responsible and not eat the dirt. Well, not as much, anyway. Then the kid starts climbing on the bulldozer, and it looks legitimately dangerous, but no one cares, they just snap photographs and declare "adorable," and you just know it'll be in the newspaper captioned "Future Pitzer Student Helps with the New Dorms," while there will be no mention of me, the rule-abiding legitimate student who desperately wants to play on the big truck, too, but he never gets to have any fun anymore because society tells him he's too old. Harumph.