2005-09-15

Get a Room!... at the Nursing Home

Don't confide in me that you're dating someone eight years older unless you're prepared to face my wrath. Having learned this tidbit about someone, I spent a good deal of a party tonight using every opportunity I had to take a swipe at her, my generation's Anna Nicole Smith, relationship with an elderly guy. While sitting on the couch, I told her it must be nice to sit on furniture not covered in plastic. Next, we discussed the benefits of receiving senior citizen discounts on dates. When the music picked up and dancing began, I inquired whether her boyfriend taught her how to do the Charleston. She hadn't learned yet, but she did bust some newer moves when a song by M.I.A came on.

"Your man's so old, he thinks M.I.A. stands for Missing in Action."
"Heeee! I love it. That's my number two favorite."
"Only number two? What's number one?"
"I don't know."
"You just have number two on the brain, 'cause your old man's incontinent!"
"Ahh! See that's it, that's number one!"

At least she's enjoying my teasing. Then again, she also enjoys old man wrinkles, so what does that say about her taste?

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