Parent of the Year

After dropping off some papers, I head to my car in a school parking lot. As I unlock the door, I notice a man holding a baby in a carrier walking closely behind me. Starting my car, before pulling out of the space, I know to check the rearview mirror to verify the man has passed out of my way. Just as I take that peek, I spot him placing the carrier with the baby in it behind my car and then walk to the van next to mine, open the door, and rummage through papers in the back seat.

I start freaking out. I cannot believe he just left his baby behind an operating vehicle! After staring and hoping he'll come to his senses, I finally roll down my window and say, "Hey, is your baby behind my car?" He turns and gives me a blank look; clearly he doesn't speak English. "Tu bebe... babe?" I butcher the word, but he finally seems to get it and goes to pick up his baby, clearing my path. I back out slowly making sure that nothing peculiar or dangerous happens.

I'm still livid. Who does that? Who is so careless to leave eir child unattended in a parking lot? On the pavement? Behind a running car? If I hadn't specifically seen the point where he set the baby down behind my car, I probably would have seen that the man was out of my way, assumed it was safe to move in reverse, and run over the child. I would have lived with that guilt for the rest of my life. And for once it wouldn't be my own idiocy to blame.

It is with great pride that I present the first annual Kevin Babbles Parent of the Year Award to Fucktard Man in School Parking Lot. ::applause::