Snot a Problem

While walking with Susan today in the cold air, my nose filled with snot. I searched my pockets for a tissue to no avail. Alas, I’m too full of boogers to ignore it, so I pull off the sidewalk. Pressing my finger firmly against the right side of my nose, I blow furiously to empty my left nostril. A stream of yellow mucus jets out, but doesn’t break free, instead dangling about waist-length from my nose. At this point, Susan notices, and I’m excited that someone can see what I’ve managed to produce. Unsurprisingly, she doesn’t share my excitement. Unsure of how to get the snot string off of me, I swing my head, hoping it will set it free. Instead, the motion sends the booger cord upwards and back at my face, with the loose end landing just above my eyebrow and the other end still firmly in my left nostril, leaving me to look I have some kind of bizarre mucus face-piercing. I’m sure I’m never looked so attractive. I assure you that discreetly wiping your nose on the sleeves of your coat is far too underrated.