I got my mail after coming home at midnight the other day, saw what looked like a wedding invitation and said aloud, "Oh god, who the fuck is getting married now?!" Bitter much? Apparently so, but my mood turned around when I found what might be the funniest save-the-date card ever.
It's extra funny because, as longtime readers already know, Heather is the queen of "That's what she said." The fact that she put that on her card just goes to show that while you can put a ring on it, she'll still come on top. (Yup, that's what she said.)
As for why Heather's getting married, I don't totally understand, but I have three decent guesses:
1. Patrick is a good guy. Granted, I've only met him once, but if you can come across as a nice, put-together guy while in Las Vegas, that seems like a pretty good litmus test. A litmus test I admittedly wouldn't pass myself.
2. She's a young Jewish lady marrying a doctor. Her parents probably planned this for her before she was born.
3. She's too lazy to find a new sexual partner.
But anyway, congratulations, I guess, and good luck birthing the Messiah.
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