How do you stop a raid of the Occupy LA encampment at its planned time? Flood the area with supporters, making it too difficult for the police to follow through. I'm proud to have been one of the thousands of protesters present into the wee hours of the morning. People of all backgrounds were there to lend their voices - including a cycling cow.
I liked the cow, as it added a touch of levity to a sometimes tense scenario, and of course the press was going to find a way to mention the bovine, too. My friend Adam quoted a Time article - "A group on bicycles circled the block, one of them in a cow suit" - on my Facebook wall.
Immediately I responded, "The revolution will not be pasteurized!"
And, like, for real, I felt on the top of my game. I caught myself by such surprise with my own cleverness and wit that I legitimately cracked myself up. Have you ever done that to yourself before? If your response is, "No, I'm not self-absorbed enough to crack myself up, Kevin," my response back to you is that you're just not creative enough to be capable of doing so. Go suck an udder, haters.
I liked my own joke so much that I googled it, you know, just to make sure I could call it a Kevin original. But Google is a dream killer. Time and time again, Google proves that with 7 billion people in the world, it's nearly impossible to be the first at anything anymore. In this specific case, "The revolution will not be pasteurized!" is already the slogan of raw milk activists, apparently.
Ugh. UGGGGH. Why can't the world let me think I'm funny? Just leave me in peace to laugh at myself and give myself kudos for my own creativity! I'm sorry if all that hormone-filled milk I've been drinking left me less quick at the draw than these raw milk hippies, but I also needed to wait for the right context to arise to spark this inspiration.
I can't believe I'm even in the 99% when it comes to puns. WHEN WILL MY DAY COME?
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