2011-11-21

How Facebook Helped Me Solve a Mystery... and Destroy a Relationship


Who says that browsing through Facebook photos is a waste of time? Yesterday, this normally useless activity helped me to not only solve a mystery, but destroy a relationship.

For context, I must take you back to three years ago when I attended a circus-themed party. In need of a costume, I decided to be a trained circus bear, which I achieved by brutally gutting a giant teddy bear and repurposing it into something wearable. It's the closest that I'll ever come to being a Project Runway contestant. Afterward, my friend Terri was so enamored with the costume that I gifted it to her. Since then she has worn it while driving, worn it to work, and she even devoted some of her limited luggage space to take it to London with her.

Anyway, fast forward to a few weeks ago when I was at a warehouse party on Halloween weekend surrounded by hundreds of strangers. Amongst them was a dude wearing a bear costume similar to the one I made. At first I was like "oh, someone had the same idea, maybe I'm not so creative at all." But when I passed by him again later, the closer I got, the more it really seemed like my costume. "I think that guy's wearing a costume I made a few years ago!" I told a couple of my friends, who were polite, but I don't think believed that what I was suggesting was possible. Heck, I didn't understand how it would be possible myself, other than that I had made the thing with my "bear" hands so my intuition said it was the one I made.

The next day, I texted Terri to ask whether she had loaned out the bear costume to someone because I thought I saw it at a party. "I WOULD NEVER LET IT OUT OF MY SIGHT!" she told me. So it must be a different costume, I decided, letting the suspicion drop.

That is until yesterday when glancing at some Facebook photos, I saw the guy in the bear costume in an album her roommate was tagged in. That seemed like too big a coincidence, so I confronted Terri when I saw her in person. I started by calling her a liar, and when she realized there was evidence, she became upset. It turned out Terri wasn't a liar, but that her roommate lent out the costume without her permission. Trouble!

And then Terri told her roommate that she was moving out. Granted, she had already decided to move and was waiting to find the right time to tell him, but what better way than to announce it dramatically after what would seem to be a trivial fight? The move was more likely inspired by her roommate's drunk friend puking on her couch and urinating on her books, but that's another story. Just let him think the bear theft was the last straw.

Anyway, mystery solved... relationship destroyed. Meanwhile, I can only take it as a compliment that my costume was stolen and worn out to a party as it speaks to my creative abilities. Still, there's one more mystery that needs solving: the bear has since gone missing. While listlessly surfing through strangers' Facebook photos, should you notice this bear costume anywhere, please let me know. We need all the clues we can gather to identify his current whereabouts.

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