I'm Calling Your Eleven-Lovin' Bullshit Out

There's nothing like 11/11/11 to bring out all of the fair weather eleven fans. "OMG! Three elevens in a row! Isn't that amazing?"

Yeah, and where were you when there was just one eleven? You don't find just one eleven to be one-derful on its own?

I'm about to sound like that guy who's been listening to that indie band a full two years before you even a heard a song of theirs on the radio, but I am WAY more into elevens than you ever will be. Heck, I threw a party on 11/11 years ago; I didn't need to wait until 2011 to feel it deserved celebration.

Eleven has always been my favorite number, you see, and not just because it rhymes with my name. It's odd, it's prime, it's a palindrome, it has simple multiplication tables, and on a scale from one to ten, it's even better.

I care about elevens too much to see people tweet about them today as if they've always been fans. Some of these temporary eleven converts wouldn't know elevens unless they fell asleep on the 1 key. I'd bet that the most many of these idiots are only exposed to elevens is when they accidentally let go of the shift key while excitedly typing about whatever the latest trend of the day is. ("ROFL!! IT'S TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY!!!!!!!!11")

So do me a favor: if you're not going to give a shit about the awesomeness of elevens tomorrow... if it'll be another full century before you consider honoring this number again, then you can just hop off this bandwagon right now, thankyouverymuch. Sure, eleven does challenge the notion that "one is the loneliest number" by pairing two of them together, but that doesn't mean you need to test it by putting it through potential heartbreak. I promise to love eleven enough for all of us, long after some other digit has struck your collective fancy.

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