Let's Expose the Duggars

Knowing how much it would piss me off, a few of my friends and family tried to be the first to break the news to me that the Duggars are having another child. Previously I've delivered prolonged rants (here and here) about how awful those parents are, and my hatred is throbbing again at this latest development.

Make no mistake, it is not "God's will" that causes them to pop out babies on the regular, it's that Mr. Duggar is having a lot of sex with his wife. How they find the time with 19 kids to raise is another question. If you'll recall, Mrs. Duggar and her premature infant nearly died during her last pregnancy; if God is trying to give this couple any sort of sign, maybe it was this as a warning of "enough is a fucking nough." Are the kids going to be just as into the whole "God's will" tripe if they actually lose their mom this time? It would be awful for me to say that I hope it happens, so I won't say it. I love the Duggars's claim that the doctors say she's healthy enough for this pregnancy. Did these doctors graduate from the Duggars's Institute of Ineffective Homeschooling? Because her last two pregnancies have had significant complications, definitely putting her at a high risk for more problems this time around.

Allow me to toss out a theory here: fertility drugs. Given that this family is so starved for attention yet only receives media coverage when they have a pregnancy announcement, might an over-the-hill woman feel pressured to force something to happen in her exhausted reproductive system with the help of medical advancements? Someone out there must have proof that she's receiving fertility treatments. A scandal like that would blow the roof off their whole, "Aw shucks, it's just God's work" excuse. They need to stop absolving themselves of all responsibility and be exposed for playing a sick game that involves kids' lives.

For that reason, I am willing to give a reward to anyone who can procure proof of any Duggar fertility-enhancing shenanigans. That's right, I will pay TWENTIES of dollars (that's multiple twenties!) for this information. Plus it's God's will for you to do so.