The Jewish Wedding

Hey, don't worry, I didn't wear a fur diaper to Cecilia's wedding. I did wear a yarmulke, though! At the door, there was a basket full of the little hats, so I assumed that all the men were expected to wear them since that was the custom when I was a young teen hitting the Bar Mitzvah scene, though that ended up not being the case. I accidentally stole it, too, after putting it in my jacket pocket and inadvertently bringing it home. Fortunately, I think it's still kosher. By that, I do not mean edible to Jews (don't eat the yarmulkes! talk about a faux pas!), but that it was acceptable to keep it as a souvenir of sort. Guess I'll find out in purgatory.

It was a lovely wedding, and nice to hear funny stories about Cecilia and Jeff and see them shake their tushes to the klezmer band, who to my astonishment, played Yiddish-style covers of Lady Gaga and Nirvana. Everything looked great, thanks in large part to the wedding planner Teissia, who not only wrangles pigeons, but is an event planner... what can't she do?

I learned a lot about Jewish customs. Before the ceremony there was the signing of the tuba. Actually, it turned out to be the signing of the ketubah, some sort of marriage contract, which though important, seems significantly less fun than the mental picture I had of the couple using a sharpie to autograph a large brass instrument. During the reception, I discovered that Jews love dancing in concentric circles. I loved that, too, as it turned out. The only religious part that kind of threw me off as a Gentile was the part of the ceremony where the rabbi reminded the couple that the Jews were still waiting for their savior, and as good Jewish parents, that might give birth to the Messiah. Whoa. I don't know if that's a customary part in Jewish weddings, but I was guilty of laughing audibly at that part; to their credit Cecilia and Jeff made scared faces at that part.

Anyway, I wish them both well for their union and potentially birthing the Second Coming the Coming(?) in the upcoming years... no pressure! Given our fascination with Siegfried and Roy, I made them this wedding card that I believe sums up my sentiment. The inside includes the message "In the words of Siegfried, 'Go get em, tigers!'" which I think might be the funniest thing I've written in ages.