I Still Despise the Duggars

I know I shouldn’t find this news surprising, but I am appalled nonetheless: the Duggars are pregnant again!

If you don’t know who the Duggars are or why I despise them so intensely, please check out my previous post.

I got the news via Celeste’s Facebook status update this morning.

It’s a cruel sentiment, yet deserved. I also appreciated her follow-up:

Oddly, it’s a contentious topic. A debate broke out amongst Celeste’s friends as to whether the Duggars are bad people. I’ve been in a similar situation: in January, I had a mild argument with an old friend in response to my previous Duggar post. She thought my condemnation was harsh. I conceded that the family members weren’t evil, but I am opposed to everything they stand for, so I am enraged that they have a platform that glorifies their lifestyle. When you put yourself in the public spotlight, you are inviting judgment; I am judging harshly.

It’s vain. It’s excessive. It’s irresponsible. It’s all about attention. (By which, I don’t mean the children receiving attention – that clearly can’t happen.) Have we even heard about the Duggars since they popped out the least one? No. That’s why within months they set to work on brewing up another fetus so they could get back on the Today show, as seen here:

Meredith alludes to my point by joking, “Let me guess, you’re getting a puppy?” The Duggars are famous for breeding and only breeding. They are hardly the intellectuals of our time – not that you expected any more from someone named Jim-Bob. Many people condemn strippers for earning a living off their vaginas, but how is Mama Duggar any different?

These folks are creepy. Do you see how they all uniformly stare directly into the camera and smile for the entire segment? That’s not natural, that’s unsettling.

And the implications that the next generation is on a similar path are downright frightening. Their eldest son has one in the oven and is already eager to make countless more. Have fun with that, new wifey.

Allow me to illustrate how irresponsible the Duggars are. I did some math. You know, the respectable kind of multiplying that occurs on a calculator and not in a womb. The Duggars have 19 kids and are teaching each of their children to reproduce in a similar fashion. If their 19 kids have 19 kids, and their resulting 361 grandkids each have 19 kids, and so forth, it only takes four more generations of this pace of breeding before we have approximately 2.5 million Duggars. And if it only takes the Duggars 20 years to have 19 kids, that means we could reach this number in just 80 more years. As a point of reference, 2.5 million is the approximate population of the state Arkansas. The Duggars will single-handedly double the population of their state. Not only will they take up too much space, they will have a powerful vote bloc and can use their uneducated viewpoints to ban contraceptives and teach only intelligent design in schools – and that’s just the start.

And think – if just a few other families try to follow a similar trend, figuring that fame and fortune is sure to follow (everyone else with lots of kids is getting a television show!) then you have tens of millions of extra people. People that this earth can’t sustain. We already have an overpopulation epidemic, folks! There’s plenty of science and research to show that we are essentially killing ourselves by breeding so quickly, but isn’t it convenient to hide behind “God’s will” and assume that he wants us to have all these children and will take care of us and the consequences?

In the meantime, shut up, Duggars. I don’t want to hear about you again unless you hit menopause or that big bus you all travel on flips over. If you can’t keep your legs closed, at least do so with your lips. Just put a cork in it. No really, put a real cork in Mama Duggar’s vagina. Plug it up entirely.

Clearly, I still despise the Duggars.

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