Hopelessly Devoted

Apples to Apples is one of my favorite games ever. For those who are unfamiliar with the game, it involves matching Noun cards to Adjective cards with hilarious results. My favorite moment ever (with a close second being when Oraine misread H.M.O.s as "homos") was a heated game in Bloomfield. For this particular round, I was the judge, meaning I had the discretion of deciding which noun matched my adjective, Hopeless, best. As everyone searched for a good match in their respective hands, Yana, who needed just one more point to win the game, began to cackle as she put down her card. I shuffled the entries and, though I vowed to be an impartial judge, did not want to choose Yana's card and terminate the game. When I started reading the options aloud, however, I knew which one hers must be. Still, in the name of all things funny, I had to choose it. After all, what Noun best embodies Hopeless? Why, Helen Keller of course.

Poor Helen Keller. That person sure can't catch a break. Even from a student of mine, who suggested in a persuasive essay that we bring Helen Keller to come speak at a school assembly. How exactly could she come to speak? Aside from being deaf, she's also thoroughly dead. Regardless, I'm sure she'd be an inspiration. As the student points out, "Helen Keller shows us even if your blind, def. and retarded, you still can succed." Let's not let "retarded" overshadow the adorable representation of Keller's deafness with the abbreviation of the word "definitely." But still, retarded? Really? I'll say it again, this person sure can't catch a break. Hopeless, indeed.