A Crappy Essay

One of my motivationally-challenged students asked to use the restroom, and I, of course, permitted the visit. It was more than fifteen minutes before she returned, meaning she probably traveled to all sorts of place in addition to the bathroom. Before I probed her on the matter, another student began the interrogation. "Why were you gone so long?" "Oh," she said, while waving her hand in front of her nose as if something smelled. "I just took a dump." My guess is she answered in such a crass manner betting that it would lead no one to question her whereabouts further. Being the good teacher that I am, however, I decided to turn her crass comment around and embarrass her into doing some of her work. "Why don't you go take a dump on your paper?" I asked. Naturally, the student made a disturbed face, even more disturbed than the one she used to illustrate the rankness of her bowel movement. Other nearby students were floored. "Did you just tell her to take a dump on her paper?" they asked in disbelief. "At this point," I mused, "I'll take anything she's got."