Goes Down Smoothly

A couple of weeks ago, my housemates and I decided to clean out the freezer and divide the shelves so that each person had eir own space, leading to less clutter and confusion. In spite of this deliberate isolation of frozen goods, I keep noticing odd things showing up on my shelf. It hasn't bothered me, until today when I found an unusual package on top of my food. As I tried to figure to whom the half-eaten bag of cookies belonged, I noticed that these weren't just any cookies: these were laxatives.

I figured it was some kind of prank and accused the housemates that were present at the time of putting laxative cookies on my shelf. No one claimed ownership, and no one was willing to try them.

Later, I confronted my main remaining suspect. "Shea, do you know what these are doing on my shelf?" Shea gladly claimed ownership, but didn't know how they ended up on my shelf. He then started chowing down on one, offering me one as well. "They're laxatives!" I exclaimed. "Nuh-uh," he retorted. "They're cookies. See? It says milk chocolate." I explained that while they may have milk chocolate in them, they're still laxatives. Examining the packaging closer, Shea moaned that this package sure looked like that other brand of health cookies he always buys.

To reiterate, he had already unwittingly eaten half a bag of laxative cookies! I apologize for ever griping about the hippie house. This house is so entertaining, I never intend to move out.