A Trippy Trip

For my Creative Journalism class, I have to write a travel piece. This assignment poses a problem considering that I like to leave the house as little as possible. Oh how fun it would be to get so fat that I could only venture to the out of doors when the fine folks at Home Depot volunteered to lift me by crane. After briefly contemplating composing a piece about crippling agoraphobia, I decide it's best to do a serious topic, like a trip to the supermarket, or something significantly more serious than that even. San Francisco could work, but I know so little about the locale aside from that big orange bridge from the Full House intro. A description of my European vacation would be apt, had National Lampoon not already told my story. I suppose I could write about the Trapp Family Lodge in Stowe, Vermont since that's been an annual destination of mine for almost my entire life. As much as I want to just make a lot of Sound of Music jokes throughout the piece, I know I could approach it from a legitimately journalistic manner and then get a good grade. After behaving throughout the entirety of the four pages, I can't help but tack on the final sentence "Even the Nazis wish they had come."

Two questions:
1) Why do I always sabotage my own academic pursuits?
2) Why don't travel publications more regularly utilize Nazi jokes?

'Tever. You can hiss at me for my poor sense of humor, but if you do, I'll come after you! Oh, who am I kidding? I'm not about to leave the house.