90's Party

Yesterday, I questioned my decision to make a Nazi joke in my paper. Looks like I should have followed through on my doubts. Today, my paper from last week was returned and the professor didn't like it. The task was to be a critic of something, and being a smart ass, I chose to review a party from the perspective of a social critic. I used more alliteration than anyone ever in the history of literacy, and I still only got a "B." Oh well, I had fun writing it anyway, so I'm going to share it with you now:

90's Party: One Hell of a Time!

The 90’s were a time of teenage rebellion, decadence, and sex. An age of unapologetic hedonism. An era where just about any questionable action could be justified with the phrase, “Hey, it’s the 90’s.”

Leave it to Mead dormitory’s Involvement Tower to adequately bring Pitzer College back to everyone’s favorite decade! After a string of sub-par social events on campus this year, November 5th’s 90’s Party located upstairs in the Gold Student Center was the perfect occasion to redefine a party of both quality and substance.

Jenna Goldfein, the up-and-coming social planner, coordinated the party. She aptly achieved a simultaneous vibe of casual diversion and debauchery and quickly became the toast of the campus for her wildly successful celebration. No one enjoys a themed party more than myself, and the guests’ campy costumes added an aesthetically appealing element to a lively Saturday night.

Though the party’s ornamentation was on the trashy side, it did provide a solid example of how to decorate while on a budget. The computer-printed signs featuring text and endearingly grainy images served as excellent fodder for reminiscing, reminding us of Arsenio Hall, the attack on Nancy Kerrigan, and the phrase “All that and a bag of chips.” Additionally, the dozens of balloons strewn about the floor provided a welcome diversion during dance breaks, as well as the hilarious moment when Student Senate Vice President Alice Tavener screamed because of a self-professed fear of balloons.

At the snack table, a delicious cake with frosting as it is meant to be: sweet, not buttery. For those who haven’t exercised since the 90’s, an ample vegetable platter provided a delectably healthy option: this writer promised himself at least one carrot stick to every piece of cake! The sole dining drawback came from the traditionally salty option: too many chips and not enough dip! Fortunately, however, the spirits kept everyone spirited. Finally, someone didn’t skimp on the keg, with the beer featuring a rich, non-watery taste. In addition, the surprise appearance of three jugs of wine appeased the classier attendees such as myself.

Naturally, the music was the most crucial element of the evening, bringing us back to our favorite dance songs by Ace of Base, Right Said Fred, and Green Day. An overwhelming sense of “I can’t believe I used to listen to these songs” appealed to everyone’s guilty pleasure side; I even conjured up some ironic appreciation for Alanis Morissette. When Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” played, there was such merriment to be had in the mass moshing that I momentarily became unconscious of what it might do to my hair.

Moshing was hardly the only phenomenal dancing. The community’s dancing elite was out in full force, including Kat Conour with her mesmerizing hip swivels and fan-favorite Preston Johnson performing his patented elbow punching step. Claremont rugby star Alex Boskovich’s apparent lack of inhibitions, as exhibited through her wild movements earned her a Troll Doll as a prize, the perfect trendy gift to commemorate her unbridled 90’s beats.

As is the case at any hot event, the party read like a who’s-who of Pitzer’s campus. President of the Iranian Students Association, Raumene Rahatzad, performed his Michael Jackson dance impressions that were so spectacularly spot-on that had any children been present, they’d have been promptly removed for fear or molestation. Socialites Amelia Neptune and Daphne Churchill, a duo that always knows how to make an entrance, received rave reactions after putting their pants on backwards during Kris Kross’s “Jump.”

As usual, senior Ted Carmichael showed up absolutely trashed, causing a ruckus on the dance floor.

“I told him if he touches me again, I’m going to slap him,” complained Neptune, though the threat never came to fruition.

Fortunately, no one was about to let one sauced individual ruin the fun for everyone, and the dancing continued in spite of his presence.

Student body President Michael Pearson came wearing his trademark bandana and ripped pants, looking positively garage band grunge. His date, First Lady Jessica Davis donned a glittery red spandex suit that was so daring, so revealing, so inappropriate that it was exactly what the Spin Doctors ordered!

Of course, Davis’s outfit wasn’t the only thing that had people talking. Her provocative dancing with freshman debutante Amy Callahan added an appreciated amount of drama and scandal to the evening.

“We’re old friends, we go way back,” Davis commented when confronted with the rumor, only adding further fuel to the fire of quickly spreading gossip.

The party was so amazing that even the guests who left to attend Claremont McKenna’s over-hyped Black and White party returned rapidly to the 90’s shindig, undoubtedly recognizing it to be the night’s more colorful option.

At 1 AM, Mead Hall Director Chris Brunelle appeared to ensure the event would be ending as scheduled, eliciting a collective groan from the party-goers, including an especially loud one from moi, who thinks Mr. Brunelle should quit being such a stickler for rules and recognize that some parties, particularly those that involve going back in time, are meant to last all night!