Look Ma, I'm on TV

My episode of The Price Is Right aired this morning. I was on screen frequently, looking rather bored. For a show so full of fanfare, it was one of the most lackluster, underwhelming experiences of my life. If you’ve taped the show, you can play Where’s Waldo and spot me picking my nose, doing a monkey dance, and making an evil face.

Still, the one to watch is Kim. Poor Kim: it was her birthday and she couldn’t be more miserable after standing in line since the night before. When the show first begins, you can spot her laughing, not out of enjoyment, but rather at the absurdity of the unfolding scene and the realizations that she waited thirteen hours for this. Later, when a contestant “coming on down” was wildly slapping high-fives, Kim recoils, clearly frightened by the flailing arms.

Since I wore a gaudy shirt announcing Kim’s birthday to the show, I decided to wear it again today, knowing that Kim would want it that way. Actually, she’d absolutely hate that I wore it again, which is a more accurate reason for me wearing it. I wore the shirt to: the 99 Cent store whereupon a kid gave me a funny face, class whereupon I was asked who Kim was, the voting location whereupon they knew I was named Kevin without showing my ID, and the cafeteria whereupon I met some television groupies who wanted me to pose for a picture and explain how great Bob Barker is, neither of which I did. Later when I noticed an email had been sent to the entire school advertising a Price Is Right trip later this week, I immediately removed the shirt, not wanting to condone such an action. It’s worse than pooping your pants.