The Warm Tapioca-Filled Balloon

I wore a super costume tonight, Superman to be precise. What made it a bit less super was that it was made for a five-year-old and didn't quite fit. The pajama-y feeties were torn open and hung just below my knees, the back was wide open like a prom dress, and the suit was so tight that it provided a very unflattering view of my penis. As the night wore on, I started to look more like the Hulk because my buff bod was tearing through the skimpy outfit, creating holes in all sorts of inappropriate places, notably my crotch. Eager to get free, my testicles got loose, fortunately masked by my boxers. Some things are best left to be seen by those with x-ray vision.

Throughout the night, the costume led to some interesting encounters. Because the outfit included bulging pecs and abs which people wanted to touch, they also assumed certain other areas were stuffed as well. Most notably, after the hole bust open, Rachel stooped down to fix my costume, believing the stuffing to be falling out. As she unwittingly cupped my testicles before I could stop her, she asked, "What is that?!" "You just touched my balls," I said. Disturbed, she told me she thought it was a warm tapioca-filled balloon. Wow, just like the real Superman!