Homosexual Haikus

I just learned that Connecticut, my home state, now allows gay civil unions. Better yet, CT is the first state to license homosexual partnerships without being forced to do so by a judge. This move is especially important because on last week's America's Next Top Model, Bre thought Kim (gay!) should give up on modeling and "stick to what she knows... liking girls and having girls like her." Apparently, "lesbian" is a full-time profession, so we should really recognize her ability to do her job.

Ted, Mike, Amelia, Joan, Alex, and I noticed that along with Vermont and Massachusetts, New England was the place to be for civil unions. Trying to determine the reason for this forward-thinking, the best we could do was attribute it to New England's colorful foliage, which inspired the following haiku, a collaborative effort:

Crunch crunch go the leaves,
crunching under the feet of
gays in New England.

Because we don't like discriminating, we proceeded to compose haikus about homosexuals in other areas as well.

Whoosh, the waves! Speedo
covering the cock and balls
of gays in So. Cal.

Squeal goes the pig or
the gay during anal sex.
That's the Midwest way.

In celebration of civil unions, I asked Amelia if she'd gay marry me in Connecticut. She said that might be a problem, because we're different sexes. Connecticut might have avoided lawsuits previously, but mark my words, if the government tries to impede on our right to a gay marry just because we're a heterosexual couple, that's bigoted and they will feel my wrath... in haiku form.