This Little Piggy Caused Me To Freak Out

This morning I looked down at my left foot and saw six toes. Anxiously, I counted again. One-two-three-four-five-six. Shit, still six toes. I freak out and try counting again. One-two-three-four-five. Five. Five's a good number. My breathing begins to steady and I decide to double check that last count. One-two-three-four-five. Once more. One-two-three-four-five. Yes, five. There are only five toes on my left foot. I'm too afraid to even look at the right foot. But my left foot has five, as it should. All is right.

Oddly, this kind of thing happens to me all the time.