Ding Bong

Last year, Mike, Preston, and I rescued a three-foot green bong from the donation bin. I'm not sure who thought the Salvation Army could use such an item, most likely it was gifted just moments after its use, but it was funny nonetheless. Considering my entire wardrobe consists of secondhand items, I figure I've contributed enough of my money to the charity to swipe this one thing.

After the bong spent a summer in storage, I took it out and contemplated filling it with birdseed and hanging it as a bird-feeder given its striking similarities to the other bird-feeder hanging outside my apartment. Ultimately, I placed it on top of the television set, thinking it made a funny decoration and made me look like one of "those" college students. For nearly two months, there it sat, never being used. I'm sure regular marijuana smokers would be more diligent in not leaving their paraphernalia out, but since I had no negative stigma attached to the piece, I left it out when maintenance, the RA, and the internet fixer came on separate occasions. It didn't occur to me until after those incidents that people wouldn't realize it was being displayed in an ironic manner, and that I should be more cautious about that kind of thing.

Recently, the RA taped the following notice to our door:

Illicit Materials - Just so you all know, smoking, of any kind, is prohibited in the apartments. Don't forget the college officials can come into the apartments on official school business unannounced. This means if you have things you know you shouldn't have, don't leave them lying around in plain sight. Enough said on that.

Oops. I really have become one of "those" college students. I'm officially, in the school's eyes, a pothead. With the shame I should have had all along, I've put the bong into hiding. Maybe I'll just donate it to the Salvation Army.