How Come Nobody Asks to See My Birth Certificate?

"President" Obama released his birth certificate today, and my worst fears were confirmed: he's black. Surely they'll impeach him for that, right?

I've never previously considered myself a birther, but seeing this document made me more skeptical than ever. Here's what I find fishy:

1. Obama's mother's first name is supposedly "Stanley." That is a man's name. Obama's parents are clearly a gay couple, and must have adopted rather than giving "live birth" as this document purports.

2. Obama's street address is listed as a highway. You can't live on a highway.

3. Someone checked the "No" box as to whether Obama's residence was on a plantation. I realize his mom more feminine dad's story was that they lived under a freeway overpass, but since people were super racist in 1961, someone filling it out at that time would have checked "Yes" even if it were just a joke.

4. The doctor's signature is legible. Fakeeeeeeee.

For those reasons, I am joining the courageous group of people who called for Obama's birth certificate, then finally got it, but will now latch on to any other reason to whine about illegitimacy. Never give up!


Lisa said...

My favorite was Stanley dated her signature a whole day before Obama's birth, a signature that certifies everything above is correct. She's either psychic or someone told her she was going to give birth a exactly 7:24pm.

Kevin said...

Wait - he was born on the 8/4, though. Her signature is on 8/7. I don't know if that's standard to not sign the document three days later however...