Last night, I caught the end of a set by a band; the band's music was danceable, but I am hardly a fan. I am a fan, however, of the band's name: Shitting Glitter. In fact, I have become obsessed with the very concept of shitting glitter. I sincerely want to do it; it would be the prettiest bowel movement I've ever had the pleasure of creating. My poop has turned orange from excessive carrots, green from Lucky Charms, and now ideally sparkly from glitter.
When I excitedly shared my plan to shit glitter, most of my friends did not take me seriously. No one really took my queries for advice on how to consume glitter to heart, except for Jessica, who suggested we remove the medicinal content from a pill and insert glitter into it instead for an easy swallowing experience. Brilliance: Jessica really is a scientist.
Once it became clear to people that I actually intended to follow through on this experiment, some friends chimed in how it would be a dangerous activity and tear up my insides. Since I am a (recovering?) hemophobe, the idea of internally bleeding freaked me out too much to follow through.
Still, I'm curious. What can I say? I would love to shit glitter. I've been trying to research the effects of eating glitter for more than an hour now, but I cannot come to a conclusive answer. Apparently this public liberry in Round Lake, Illinois found it acceptable to feed glitter to young children, so I'm guessing it can't be lethal. If you either know the consequences of eating glitter or would like to make a pact to dine on some with me, be sure to give me a shout.
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