Blue Diamonds, Purple Horseshoes, and Green Feces

When grocery shopping, I have no qualms about buying store brand products except when it comes to breakfast cereals. My brand loyalty has been well-established on that front, and despite being cheap, I'm willing to pay the price for deliciousness. Stater Bros. finally got me, though, with its faux Lucky Charms offering. Taunting me with a "Bet You Can't Tell the Difference" sign, I decided to take that challenge.

Well, I'm pleased to announce that I could taste the difference. As if there was any doubt, Magic Stars is an inferior product to Lucky Charms. The knowledge that I have discerning taste buds is reward enough to me, so I decided not to pursue a money-back offer. It's a good thing, too, because I noticed something noteworthy the next time I pooped. As Laura insinuated in her comment response to this post*, my poop turns green after eating Lucky Charms. And wouldn't you know it? Magic Stars produce that same foreign hue in my bowel movements. As it turns out, Stater Bros. claim is true: I can't tell the difference.


* Looking back, the spam comment beneath Laura's is quite hysterical, too. It's good to know that that person agrees with Laura about being cautious of Lucky Charms because of its effects on turd tint. Additionally, that person is a doctor, so it's safe to assume that's not just an opinion but a medical opinion. I'd guess there's significant scientific research done on the subject.

Also, fellow college graduates will be interested to hear that that Ralph's location (the one that furnished our booze for four years) has gone out of business. One summer without our biweekly alcohol purchases, and it has to shut down. Now Old Farts like me have to get our senior discounts elsewhere.

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