Search Me

Periodically, I check up on this blog's statistics. In addition to keeping track of the hits, it also reports on the keywords people use on search engines that lead them to my site.

The previous five search terms that linked to Kevin Babbles are:

1. gross face piercing
Someone was apparently looking for freaky pictures of dumbasses who have marbles coming out of various orifices. Instead, ey had the pleasure of reading about the time I had a booger string dangling from my forehead. Hopefully that person read Susan's testimonial in the comment section for extra effect. We can only be certain that I didn't fail to provide in the grossness department.

2. comedian heckles
Admittedly, this one isn't funny; I debated whether to even include it. I could have easily just said that there were four search terms and left this out, but in the interest of being honest, I'm keeping it. I hope you appreciate it, as well as how boring the explanation in these last three sentences have been. Just be thankful I employed a semicolon in the first sentence or it would have been four sentences. Of course, by rambling about my attempt at brevity, I'm certainly not contributing to it, and by discussing my punctuation use, I'm not making it any less boring - except for Amelia.

3. difficulty wrapper charms blow pop
I enjoy this search because I can relate. Darn it, they make it impossible to get the wrappers off! Come to think of it, that's probably contributed to me treating my Blow Pop like a super hero in the first place. I leave it attached because it's a hassle to do otherwise. It's fun to imagine some poor sucker (pun alert!) struggling so much with eir lollipop that ey turn to Google for some solution. Instead, ey just find a new way to play with eir food.

4. nancy kerrigan spandex pictures
You know, I've been suspecting my blog has been missing a crucial element, and I finally know what it is! Though it may be too late to provide for that one searcher, I think we can all benefit from a delicious picture of Nancy. Heck, let's throw in Tonya Harding, too, to make up for the fact that I couldn't locate their porn.



5. naked fat pregnant midgets'
Aren't pregnant people invariably fat? What do these midgets possess? There are perhaps too many questions, including why this search even leads to my site. I draw the line at Nancy Kerrigan! Whoever was driven by this fetish apparently got desperate enough to click on my blog five times using those keywords - unless five different people all were searching for these naked fat pregnant midgets' over the course of a couple hours. Considering the sick freaks that read this site, I suppose anything is possible.