A Miner Offense

Is it too soon to joke about this?


I know, I know... If you have to ask...

Such a succinct headline and yet never have two words been so wrong.

My mom brings the paper to me this morning, well technically this afternoon, but currently that's equivalent to my morning. Glancing at the page, I laugh a bit too maniacally for the subject matter. I think my mom had anticipated telling me that they printed it incorrectly, so instead she asks, "Do you think they went to press too early?" I was awake last night to hear that a genuine dozen of the baker’s dozen didn’t survive. I had only watched part of it, and only for that brief time because of Anderson Cooper, so I wasn’t even aware of the miscommunication that had occurred.

I suppose it’s easier for me to see the humor here because I refused to care this time around. I did that last time. I stayed up all night until I knew the previous bunch of miners were alive; I was very emotional invested: I even jumped up and cheered. But not this time. Lightning doesn’t strike twice, especially not below the earth’s surface. I sense the public’s interest is waning toward these types of incidents, too. Mining companies are going to have to start employing more women if they expect their next accident to be made into a film. Though the story may be compelling, that script isn’t going to be produced unless it can include Jessica Alba’s dirt-crusted cleavage.

But come on – this error is kind of funny. No I’m not sick enough to snicker at the emotional rollercoaster of the families, but the very idea that a mistake can be immortalized as fact by a newspaper is quite interesting. Currently, the media is outraged, repeatedly asking how this blunder could occur. The answer couldn’t be more obvious: Haven’t we all heard that our neighbor is pregnant only to later discover she’s merely fat? Haven’t we all played a game of telephone where “Tucans live in the rainforest” becomes “Demons ate my underwear”? And in both of those cases, don’t we choose to laugh afterwards?

Well, not everyone. Though I can understand the anguish, the news reported that family members were threatening to “bring arms” to have their questions answered by officials. Clearly, they’ve learned a thing or two about the preciousness of human life! My gosh, it’s almost as if these people live underground.