Doo Doo Dean

I'm very much about breaking down gender barriers. Also, I am very much lazy. For these reasons, when I find a (seemingly) unoccupied women's bathroom to be closest to me or, in some cases, less smelly at a given moment , I'll proudly take the urinal-less option.

Last night, finding my bladder overflowing and the men's bathroom to be all the way down the hall, I enter the women's room. I was well-behaved: I didn't pee on the floor, I flushed, I put the seat down, and I washed my hands; most females wouldn't treat the place so nicely. Then, while exiting the restroom, I came face to face with the dean. The dean gave me the most horrified expression ever, as if I had committed the world's worst crime. Here was my opportunity to defend myself and my principles and explain to the dean that this act was of defiance to our gender-segregated society. I could speak so passionately that it would inspire the dean to change policy at our school. I would turn this awkward encounter into one of the most worthwhile experiences of both of our lives.

Instead, I sprinted out of the building. I'll fix the world tomorrow or something.