The Surprise Party

I went to a friend's surprise birthday party this weekend. We almost ruined the whole thing because when she walked in the door, no one was ready to yell "surprise!" Instead, we were all standing around having conversations and missed her entrance. I think she screamed, "Oh my god!" before anyone noticed her and let out a belated "surprise!" The good thing is she was genuinely still surprised, due in large part to the fact that her actual birthday is two months away. No one expects a birthday party that far in advance, no matter how suspicious the circumstances might be.

But she wasn't the only one surprised; I was surprised, too. When it came time to blow out the candles, they called out the names of three other people whose birthdays were soon, sooner than the girl we were actually celebrating, anyway. I was one of them. And as much as we insisted that weren't interested in taking away the "birthday" woman's spotlight, an old man, a pregnant teenager, and I were serenaded by all of the guests.

The pregnant girl and I made "this is awkward" faces at each other as the song went on. I felt especially bad for her because people had been accosting her all night. By that, I don't mean they were giving her a hard time for being knocked up at a young age, but they were going up and patting her belly frequently. I realize she's not pure, but that's somebody's body, you should ask before you touch.

The strangest instance of this involved the birthday woman's boyfriend's mother. First she patted the pregnant girl's belly (they were not acquainted), and then ran over and lifted the birthday woman's shirt to rub her slender stomach while saying, "There should be a baby in there soon! I can't wait for a baby! I'm putting baby juices on you!" A room full of people silently watched this weirdness unfold, and I couldn't help but cringe. And that's how a party goes from a surprise to downright shocking.

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