The Patron Saints of Animals

It was when Teissia and Kat shared an apartment together that I first realized that they had a way with animals. Although the building manager at their place had enclosed their balcony with netting in order to keep pigeons out, a pair of pigeons still inexplicably managed to find a way inside and get trapped. Kat and I tried to shoo them out to no avail, instead getting swooped and shat at. When Teissia returned home, however, she gently spoke to the birds and coaxed them out a small opening she created in the netting. She had a remarkable way with the creatures.

Shortly thereafter, Kat moved abroad and Teissia moved onto a houseboat. When Kat returned to the United States for a visit, more bird drama followed. She arrived at my house and before even greeting me, she requested a net and/or brightly colored flowers. Evidently, she had stopped to pick up some cola at a nearby liquor store, whereupon a hummingbird flew inside and couldn’t find its way back out. Armed with some flowers, we returned to the liquor store hoping to woo it back outside. Though the bird was far clearly far too frightened to be concerned by flowers in the store’s confinement, Kat stayed until the hyperventilating hummingbird finally was lured outside.

On the ride home, I noticed dozens of “FOUND HAMPSTER” signs in the backseat of Kat’s car. Apparently, Kat and Teissia had been hanging the signs all around the marina where Teissia lived, or was docked, as it were. The marina’s manager had found the hamster and was going to dispose of it, so Teissia agreed to temporarily house it, feed it, and find its owner. Since hamsters aren’t native to docks or, well, just about anywhere really, she assumed that it must belong to someone nearby; hence she made the signs.

Despite the spelling error (there’s no “P” in “hamster,” but that is a common mistake), after a few days, Teissia did receive a call from someone who thought the hamster might belong to his son. The father came to verify and confirmed that it was his hamster, yet admitted that he sort of wished it were dead as he had earlier believed. Evidently, his four-year-old son had allowed the hamster to crawl out the window from the fourth story of a building. What followed was not only a lesson in responsibility, but about death. The kid had never had to grasp the concept of death previously, so this incident became a rite of passage as he grieved for his pet and learned about the permanency of death. Of course, this understanding was all about to be undermined, as the hamster that was “dead and gone forever” would now return to the house as a plaything again.

How the creature even survived a fall like that is a wonder, but with the Patron Saints of Animals watching over, it was bound to survive, I reckon. Some veterinary school really ought to award these two a pair of honorary degrees.