Russian Cousins

Jenna has a history of cousins coming out of the woodwork. Sabrina, a distant cousin who Jenna wasn't aware existed, randomly ended up at the same college as Jenna, and now they're close friends. I didn't know family reunions could work out that easily or well, but I guess it can happen.

While I still haven't had any long-lost relatives pop into my life, it happened again for Jenna. A family that emigrated from Russia found Jenna via Facebook almost two years ago and announced they were her family. Not only did Jenna not know they existed, but her extended family didn't either, as they weren't a part of the family tree. Immediately, I was intrigued by the story. Is it possible that these Russians are posing as her family for some ulterior motive? Jenna dismissed this notion, explaining that they lived in Russia so it made sense that the familial bonds were broken a few generations back.

I pointed out that it would only be natural for her to be suspicious and worry that they were using her. She insists that they've been nice and haven't asked for anything in the past two years. Then she showed me her new laptop that the Russian cousins bought her as a graduation gift. Noting its expensiveness, I said "So it's not even as if they're using you, if anything, you're using them?" "Yeah!" Jenna responded, maybe a bit too cheerfully.

The Russians are now a full gift-giving, reunion-attending part of the family and they've been accepted in, documentation be damned. Well, accepted by everyone except for Jenna's grandma, who is totally wary. She just doesn't believe that her deceased husband would have never mentioned a Russian family if they were to really exist. Recently, the Russian family took Jenna's grandma out as a kind gesture and attempted to get to know her better. Making conversation, they asked her questions about her hobbies and what time she woke up in the morning. Jenna's grandma LIED in response to every question because she didn't want them to know anything about her since she doubts their authenticity and worries they're out to harm her.

Okay, yeah, grandma sounds crazy, but I might be on Team Grandma all the same. After the third year of casing Jenna's family, the Russians will probably go around robbing and murdering their American "cousins" by using all of the intel they've acquired. Everyone will fall victim except for Jenna's grandma who will already be awake at 7 while the Russians think they have an extra hour to catch her while she sleeps. Or maybe they'll be unable to locate her at the garden club meeting because she's really off playing bridge. You can never be too careful of these Russian spies who use those confusing computer things to infiltrate innocent families' lives.