2010-07-31

Chelsea Clinton

Surely I wasn't the only schoolboy whose locker looked like this.



I'm not saying that I'm crying now that Chelsea got married today, but is hard to watch another childhood fantasy become unavailable. At this point, all I have left is the Feather Duster from Beauty and the Beast, and she's an animated inanimate object. I'm can't pinpoint what attracted me to Chelsea: perhaps it was the power, or perhaps it was that she was the only person who had an awkward phase that could rival my own. All I know is that I wanted to run my fingers through her friz and have our braces interlock mid-kiss.

Oh well. I'll never give up hope; infidelity runs in the family.

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