Staking My Reputation

Like most evenings, the conversation turns to Queen Latifah. Subsequently, I bring up the obnoxious holiday season commercials she recently did for Target. Desiree insists they were for Walmart. Initially, we agree to disagree, but I feel confident that they were for Target, and offer to stake my reputation on the fact. Desiree, feeling equally confident, agrees to put hers on the line as well. Ted wants in on the bet, too, putting a dollar on Walmart. Objectively, that's the more rewarding wager: a dollar has value; my reputation, as that of a slut, is worthless.

In the end, I win. Technically, Desiree is correct, Latifah whores for Walmart, not Target, but now that I've lost my reputation, I'm no longer a slut! Unfortunately, for Desiree, she now has my reputation: In addition to becoming a slut, she's also known for being wrong and making ridiculously stupid bets. As for me, I have a clean slate. The next time I defame my character, I will make another trivial wager, one I am certain to lose, and pass off my undesirable reputation to another sucker. This scheme is easier than confession.