Terri's Day

Happy Terri's Day!

You're celebrating, right? Terri's Day honors the vegetative life of Terri Schiavo. If you'll recall, Terri was just like Elian Gonzalez in that they were both innocents exploited for political causes, except that she was a comatose woman and he was a Cuban boy -- the jury's still out on who was cuter. Oh, Florida, what ridiculous, overhyped controversy will you think of next?

Seriously brain damaged and unable to stay alive without the assistance of machines, Terri unwittingly became the symbol of a pro-life crusade. Political pundits including President George W. Bush insisted that the hospital keep her hooked up because "all lives are sacred" (unless they live in different countries and we can invent some excuse to bomb them, but I digress.)

On March 31, 2005, after fifteen years of being in a vegetative state, Terri was MURDERED. I'm not sure whether Terri would have preferred to be kept alive under these circumstances, but considering that her comatose state was incited by her severe anorexia, I think it's safe to assume that she'd support her husband's decision to remove her feeding tube. It was going straight to her hips anyway.

Though the media coverage of this controversy was almost unbearable, my friends Celeste and Lindsay almost made it worthwhile by holding public demonstrations in her honor. They perfected the vacant stare, titled head, and gaping mouth that our dear Terri was known for.






Miss you, Terri! Gone too soon! You had so much more unresponsive "living" to do!