American Legion Hall

I attended an event at the local American Legion Hall this past weekend and became fascinated with the building. With strange architecture and even stranger wallpaper, it seemed like the perfect venue to host a murder mystery. While no one was looking, Matt and I ventured into the basement to snoop. Even in near pitch dark, it was readily apparent that it was cobwebbed and disgusting. It was also a place where wheelchairs went to die. Broken walkers and wheelchairs littered nearly every corner. The only thing I found in decent condition was a cot that was clearly a fucking cot. You know, a cot in a private location for people to sneak away and fuck on. Even veterans get it on, evidently.

Or at least they try to. While on the subject of veterans, Jenna told us, seemingly out of the blue: "I really want to help out veterans with E.D." I swear, I can't make something that hysterical up. As always, there was a background story: her cousin is working with a team researching erectile dysfunction in young veterans. Apparently, there are high levels of impotence in those who experience post-traumatic stress disorder. Naturally, we teased Jenna as to HOW she would help veterans get erections and why, of all causes, she was so drawn to this one, but her heart is in the right place. A horny place, but a right place nonetheless. It's hard (sorry, veterans) difficult to argue Jenna's point: "These guys risk their lives to fight for our country and then they can't even get it up anymore!"

Maybe you can't argue with it, but you can make light of it, as Allison did: "I went to war and all I got was this limp penis."

I would sooooo wear that slogan on a t-shirt.