I can now add being directly, disdainfully called out by a mildly successful rock band to a list of my life's accomplishments.On Tuesday night, Anna and I went to see the Polyphonic Spree show in Anaheim. Note now that I call it the Polyphonic Spree show and not the Rooney show. Rooney is a typical pop/rock band that has never really hit it big, aside from one mediocre hit thanks to its inclusion on an episode of The O.C.. If it weren't for the fact that I went to college with a former member for the band, I probably would have never heard of Rooney at all. When I learned that Rooney was opening up for the Polyphonic Spree, I was surprised, since they do not musically compliment one another. Generally, the Polyphonic Spree tours with cool indie artists that could use the exposure, so it didn't make sense to me that they would be paired on a single line up.
My intention was to skip Rooney altogether. Anna and I found a pizza shop nearby the venue, and played Scrabble until the an hour into the show hoping to avoid Rooney's set. Alas, the show got off to a late start, so we didn't miss a single moment of Rooney goodness. I wasn't too familiar with Rooney's repertoire, but I was quickly unimpressed. Most songs featured just a few lyrics repeated ad naseum, and most of those were about being an awesome rock star and getting laid. In other words, the kind of music that kills you a little bit inside. In its cliches, however, it seemed pretty harmless, until it became increasingly clear that the leader singer, Robert Carmine, was entirely full of himself. He spoke of Rooney as though were one of music's great, yet under-appreciated bands. When a band sounds pretty similar to Matchbox 20, I suppose it can have a bit of the "why-not-me?" syndrome, but it can't act like it deserves it.
The music was clearly not gelling with the crowd who came to see the Polyphonic Spree. We wanted something cool, something different, something, well, good. After a couple of songs, Carmine was clearly underwhelmed by the audience's reception of him. "Don't be pussies, Anaheim!" he screamed. I cringed in annoyance. What a rock star! I would have thrown my panties, but I didn't wear any in hopes of getting backstage. Sure, the audience wasn't feeling the band, but no one was being disrespectful, yet, so just play the music without incident, please. But no, Carmine kept prodding the crowd to get more into Rooney, his oozing ego only putting the audience off more. Cursing at an audience might rile up some more typical rock crowds, but when performing before a band known for its message of love and harmony, berating them isn't going to go over well.
Anna and I grew so bored and agitated during the set, we looked for something else to do to amuse ourselves. With little warning, I began rolling around on the floor, in the same manner one would do without abandon down a hill. Soon, security approached me and gave a warning with a shine of the flashlight as if to say, "No fun during Rooney!" I opted to stop rolling since I probably appeared as though I was on drugs. Anna and I briefly flirted with the idea of playing leap frog to kill the remaining time, but we decided to be on our best behavior.
Toward the end of the set, Rooney took the time to "introduce" us to the Polyphonic Spree in a casual mention. Carmine encouraged us to stick around for the following set and told us that "even if you haven't heard of them, and even though you probably don't know their songs, I think you'll like them." At this point, I went from bored to irate; I'm sure the Spree appreciates such high praise. What a cocky cock to act like some kind of musical authority. If he wants that status, he's got to play songs that don't suck. Besides, Rooney is the opening band, the act that people put up with to get to the music they want to hear. Is this guy so deluded as to think that we came to see him and only him? Rooney is not the headliner! We did not shell out $30 to see your stereotypical asses. This asshole totally crashed an amazing concert and acted like we should be thankful for his presence.
Before the next song, Carmine introduced his latest hit single that admittedly wasn't getting any airplay in California. "But it's number one in Germany," he said, before sarcastically adding, "Thanks a lot, California." Dude, maybe someone could get away with a snide comment like that when the crowd is on eir side, but I think it more so restored the faith of a crowd of people who largely don't listen to mainstream radio. Plus, Germany? If I've learned one thing in world history class, it's that Germany is known to make huge, unfathomable mistakes; count Rooney as one of them.
When they announced the last song, Anna and I stood up and crowded closer to the stage to get a better location for the Polyphonic Spree. Carmine still wasn't satisfied with our level of rock and let us know we weren't going to get away the entire night without responding positively to the band. "I want to see you clap!" he screamed. He got a reasonable response, considering his behavior so far, as most people sort of played along, clapping as a form of appeasement. "No really, I want everyone to clap!" he repeated, at which point it got a bit uncomfortable, so I'd say at least 90% went with the crowd and clapped, even if they weren't really enjoying it. Anna and I, however, still fed up, held out and stared, arms crossed. Carmine looked directly at us, the two people closest to the stage blatantly disregarding his instructions. "I want you to clap!" he said yet again, making eye contact directly with us. Instead of complying, Anna and I gleefully laughed and slapped each other playfully at the fact that the guy from Rooney was calling us out for not liking his shitty music. Carmine proceeded to get pissy mid-song and chastised, "If you're not willing to clap, you shouldn't be at a rock concert." Thanks for those wise words, Rooney. It brought me great pleasure to give them a reason to be their whiny, misanthropic selves.
Polyphonic Spree, however, was flipping amazing as usual. I clapped for them for nearly two hours, and they didn't even have to ask me to. As usual, I am impressed by the band's showmanship. I know I've said it multiple times here already, but you need to see Polyphonic Spree live. Hell, I would sit through Rooney nine times over just to see some Polyphonic Spree. They managed to erase every ounce of ill-will in my body as they played, they're so jubilant. As Anna says, it's not just music, it's performance art. They played past midnight, and welcomed in Halloween with us, which was the best way I could imagine spending that holiday.
Below, I offer up a video of a live performance of Polyphonic Spree covering Nirvana's "Lithium." Check out twenty-plus people in matching robes playing every instrument imaginable and featuring a devoted choir truly rocking out to one of music's classic grunge songs, while still infusing their own positive pep. I am enamored. I'm not even going to find a clip of Rooney to offer as a comparison, because you know what? Fuck them. They should fuck off to Germany where they'll be appreciated, no less. And now, I dare you not to get excited as the Polyphonic Spree and audience jump wildly in unison:
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