Voice Message

Recently, I received the world's greatest voice message. On it Bianca recorded a hypothetical conversation between the two of us. Part of it is in the delivery: her impression of me is the same one one might employ if ey were impersonating Barry White. Here is the transcription:

B: Hey, Kevin.
K: Hey, Bianca.
B: I'm sorry that I haven't called before now; I've been really busy trying to pack before Wednesday and everything, because I leave on Wednesday.
K: Yeah, yeah, you're a jerk.
B: You know, that's fair, that's fair. I didn't call you back, but there's no excuse for rudeness of that level.
K: I hope you die.
B: Kevin. Kevin, please be reasonable. I don't think I deserve that.
K: I hate you.
B: Okay, you know what Kevin? I... have AIDS. Yeah. Think of it what you will. Good day.
::End of voice message::

I've probably played it back nine times now because I enjoy it that much. She's right, though: I do hope she dies. It's completely unfair for her to move to Korea for the next year + just after I've decided we should be total BFF. Fulbright Fellowships are for suckers. Leaving the country is for people with HIV negativity.

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