There's Too Many Chiefs, But Not Enough Indians in the Kitchen

On Big Brother tonight, one of my favorite players, Nakomis, uttered the unfortunate phrase, "My heartstrings are aching," at which point I couldn't help but heckle, "Mixed metaphor!" Finding me lame, my housemate asked, "Who says mixed metaphor?... Oh yeah, I guess an English teacher." Yeah, that's right, I really am an English teacher. Finally, I feel qualified for this job.