Eyebrows scare me. Not actively, because they're subtle little things - I can go weeks without remembering eyebrows exist. Then suddenly I'll notice someone's eyebrows and freak out and then start looking at everyone's eyebrows. Why are there hairy strips sitting on our foreheads? Who thought that was a good idea?

We'd look even sillier without them, a friend pointed out. Would we, though? Whoopi Goldberg doesn't need eyebrows. For the first twenty-six years of my life, I didn't even notice she didn't have eyebrows, and I've seen Sister Act 2 at least seven times. Granted, once you've seen that they're missing (are they in the witness protection program, too, Sister Whoopi?), you can't un-see it, but clearly they aren't necessary.

Wikipedia argues that eyebrows are "important to human communication and facial expression", but Whoopi is an Oscar-winning actress. If she can communicate and emote that well without eyebrows, who needs 'em? If they're not good enough for Whoopi, they're not good enough for me.

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