Dwarves and Elves

At dinner, my companions were nerding out and talking about their favorite fantasy books, a subject on which I know nothing. Looking for a little clarification, I asked what I thought was an innocent question: "What's the difference between a dwarf and an elf?"

You would have thought I dropped a racial slur the way all six other people acted offended by the question. Here are my three favorite responses to my query:

1. "Are you fucking kidding me right now? Dwarves are just short, but elves are so much more."
2. "That's like asking, 'What's the difference between a mountain and a forest?'"
3. "Let's put it this way - I would never have sex with a dwarf, but I dream of having sex with an elf."

I still can't say that I understand the difference, but I know better than to pose that question again.