Oh look, this guy who used to sit next to me in Environmental Physics class (and I haven't seen since) has requested to be my Facebook friend. How nice of him to think of me after all of these years. I see from his profile that we now live in the same city, maybe that's why he's trying to reconnect.

I wonder if we know people in common in LA. Let me check our mutual friends... just high school people. Wait, he wasn't actually ever friends with her. Or him. And definitely not him. And what's this on my newsfeed?

Slut! Clearly, I ain't nothing but a number to him. Take our internet "friendship" and cram it.

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