Christine O'Donnell, I Have an Offer

It's been really difficult trying to avoid this Christine O'Donnell nonsense. Since she's in the news every day, I accidentally catch the headlines about her odd stances on masturbation, evolution, and witchcraft, but I read no further because - who cares?

I get the media's obsession. It's easy to make fun of a Tea Partier, and similarly easy to discredit women, so why not just make O'Donnell the focal point of a divisive movement and have some fun? I mean, it worked with Sarah Palin as the target, and since she hasn't provided any non-Dancing with the Stars sound bites in a few weeks, why not run with O'Donnell? She's at least as crazy as Palin, and if you were to put glasses on her, they could be easily mistaken.

I'm not defending O'Donnell. Certainly she sucks and represents positions I can't even begin to comprehend, I just don't need to hear daily updates about how much she sucks. But I was finally motivated to read an article that reported she lied about attending Claremont Graduate University, my alma mater.

There are days that I'd like to lie and say that I do NOT have a degree from this university, making it all the more comical that someone would falsely claim to have attended. If you'll recall, a friend of mine actually used his diploma from the same school to write a note about how he briefly was running errands at Target, which should probably give you a sense of its perceived value.

With that, I have an offer: if Christine O'Donnell wants my diploma, I'll give it to her. Honestly, she can have it. I know that's not technically how an honorary degree works, but that way she can utilize her skills of "creative truth-telling" and confidently state "I have a degree from Claremont Graduated University." Just don't tell anyone that my name's on it. No, really, please don't tell anyone.