A Fire in My Kitchen

Hey, did you all know not to put tinfoil in the microwave?

Of course you did, you are competent adults.

I, on the other hand, had to learn the hard way: by catching my microwave on fire.

After smelling smoke, I discovered that there were actually large flames inside, which I had to slap out. I don't think that plate is going to spin anymore.

I'm so convinced that I'm accidentally going to kill myself one of these days that I regularly contemplate penning a suicide note to leave lying around. It's not that I want to kill myself, but that way when it inevitably happens, people will say, "Oh, at least he did it on purpose" and not "What a dumbass." It's important to me that people will still speak highly of my intelligence, even after I've died in some bizarre kitchen explosion.

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